And So It Begins
We were at a wedding last December. The lights were turned down at the reception and the soft glow of white lights on trees filled the room. The dancing was about to begin and the music was playing for the father-daughter dance. Before we left for the wedding my son had declared that he did not want anyone to talk to him and that he was not dancing at all. My husband and I both said to each other… “Ok, we’ll see, our little sanguine boy that loves a party and loves people.” For those of you that do not know my son, he is extremely fun loving and always laughing and smiling and would be the first to suggest a dance party at family gatherings.
There were little girls on the edge of the dance floor waiting for the party to begin. We were sitting at our table and my seven-year-old son turns to me and asks if he can go talk to them. Oh boy, and so it begins. (Laugh) I was glad that he asked but I was surprised at my answer though because I am not used to him being more than twenty feet from me at all times… but in my elation that he had returned to his normal people-loving self, I said “yes”. So there he goes, looking so handsome in his blue shirt and blue tie and making his way around the tables to where the kids were now gathering. I watched him stroll through the room looking so much older than I picture him sometimes. With every step he takes away from me there seems to be an equally big ache in my heart getting bigger. I am so excited for him that he is old enough to go talk to kids on his own and be a part of the dancing without me. But I must admit that part of me is a little sad that he doesn’t need me to be attached to him, that he is not sitting right next to me so that I can make sure he doesn’t get his feelings hurt and that all his needs are met. Since we homeschool, I am used to him being within arm’s length.
So there he is, my little boy, across the room from me. I keep watching his every move to make sure he is ok. People talk to me and I answer them without breaking my gaze across the room. He leans over to tell one of the other little kids something. I am wondering if he is remembering everything I have taught him about how to talk to people, how to act, what is right and what is wrong. Is he remembering to glorify God with what he says and does as we prayed before we got out of the car? Ok, Serena, get a grip on yourself, you are not waving goodbye to him at his college dorm; he is just across the room.
And then there it is. He turns around to look for me, to see if I am watching over him, if he is safe to have fun because his mommy and daddy have his back. He sees me and waves and I wave back. Both of us with huge smiles on our faces, his because he is having fun and knows I approve and mine because I want him to know that everything is great and he is free to have fun. He returns to playing/dancing/running around the dance floor and I return to watching him do this. Every couple minutes we do the wave routine because in the midst of his playing he must remember me and want to know if he is still being watched over. Oh yes little boy, you are being watched over. Never doubt that your mommy and daddy have you in their sights and hearts forever. God has entrusted us with you and we feel so blessed to have you to watch over and raise into the wonderful person you are and you will become.
After his brush with freedom, my husband and I went out to slow dance and our son came and buried his head in us and looked up and said “I love you.” We love you too, buddy. More than you will ever understand until you have children of your own. And just remember, mommy and daddy will always be looking out for you, and even more so, your heavenly Father is watching over you:
We can rest assured that when we look over our shoulder that our heavenly Father is there watching out for us. Just like my son looking over his shoulder to see if I was watching out for him, our heavenly Father is there protecting us. We are never alone when we “abide under the shadow of the Almighty” (Psalm 91)! I pray that we are reassured of His presence in our lives today, in Jesus’ name!